A change....

4 min read

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agentbananayum's avatar
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Hey guys. There's a lot that needs to be said.

This year has been very different for me, physically and mentally. I'm in 8th grade and beginning to fall in love with not only fictional characters and/or celebrities. But real people in school. Don't worry i don't have a boyfriend or anything, but there's a special someone who's stolen my heart. I've liked him since December of 2013. I've refused to say I love him but I think it's come too that.

Latley I've been going through a lot, more like these past 2 months. I've been extremley busy with school, friends, and my love life. I volunteer now on Fridays at my elementary school with my friends. I'm busy every weekend and this week my friend is staying at my house.

My taste in music has changed drastically. Instead of liking Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber, I like One Direction, who aren't as girly as you think, and 5 Seconds of Summer.

Also I've been going through depression. I've been self harming myself occasionally and have cried myself to sleep plenty of times. I've been bullied in school and it hasn't been very fun. I've been called gay many times. I'm not. I'm straight. I've fallen deeply in love with someone (a boy) and am not sexually attracted to girls. 

Something else has changed. I'm not a gamer anymore. I don't play Mario Bros a lot. I do occasionally, but not as much as I used to. I don't play very much anymore and don't draw Mario fan art, I barley even draw anymore.

I probably won't be posting very much on this account anymore, my username doesn't represent me anymore. I want to change my username but I don't have a premium so I can't.

I might leave this account. I don't want to since it's been with my for 2 years but it just doesn't represent me.

I won't be posting much at all anymore. Maybe some stories that I've written but that's all.

I don't draw very much anymore, since I have a lot on my plate.

I wish I could go back to the time when I loved to draw everyday and I loved playing Mario Bros and I wasn't falling for someone, but I've changed. I'm not that same happy bubbly girl who made this account 2 years ago. Instead of being myself around others, I've become very quiet and restricted. I don't like it. But it's who I've become. I don't want to force myself to play video games anymore. I don't want to force myself to draw because I honestly will think it looks like shit and I'll delete it.

I'm going into high school next year. I'm growing up. I'm not the same cute elementary 11 year old who created her account on this website called deviantART because her older sister did. I now have too many responsibilites to run this account and go onto dA 2 hours every day. I only come on here to reply to a long going note conversation with a few of my closest online friends who i could ever leave or else I wouldn't be here today.

If you want to keep in touch, please kik me at sh.abby

I won't be drawing Mario fanart anymore. It just isn't me. I won't leave this account, just won't be on as much, only to reply to note messages daily. I'm sorry but I can't anymore.

I love you guys more than anything. Thank you for making these 2 years worth it.

-Abby
© 2014 - 2024 agentbananayum
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